Sometimes value is found in something small: a walk, a cup of tea, a good conversation. That's what Marijke (76) experienced thanks to Surplus“ buddy program. Her buddy Mariska and son/caregiver Wilbert tell how a simple idea grew into a meaningful bond. For Mariska, the adventure began after a turning point in her own life. ”After a brain attack, I could no longer do my job as a management assistant. I wanted to mean something again. When I read about the buddy program, I thought: that's it." Shortly thereafter, she was paired with Marijke, who lives with Alzheimer's.
Wilbert, son of Marijke immediately saw the added value of buddy help. “My mother especially missed walking. A buddy can get her moving again ánd offer her company. For me, it gave me peace of mind to know that she is doing something fun every week.”
From acquaintance to bond of trust
At the first meeting, it was an instant hit. “The conversation flowed very naturally,” says Mariska. “We talked about everything from her family to her illness. It quickly felt familiar.” Wilbert noticed this as well: “They clicked right away and started their regular walking tour the very next week.” That round became a ritual. “Always the same path, that gave her recognition,” says Mariska. “We often drank tea, laughed a lot and sometimes ran errands. It became personal; we also shared the little things that give color to a day.”
Support for all involved
For Marijke, the process brought joy and human contact. “She felt seen,” Wilbert says. “Not as a ‘patient,’ but as a human being.” For himself, it meant relief. “I don't live around the corner. Knowing she was doing something fun with Mariska every week gave me peace of mind.” Mariska also learned a lot. “Before my stroke, I didn't know anyone with dementia. I learned to talk calmly, to look carefully at what someone needs. And I overcame my social anxiety.”
A warm farewell
It took some swallowing when Marijke told her to move to an assisted living facility. “You really build a bond and get so much in return. It felt good that we could end it together with a personal talk,” says Mariska. Marijke misses her mate, but now has new contacts. “It's still different,” says Wilbert, “but we look back with a lot of warmth.”
Become a buddy too?
The story of Marijke, Wilbert and Mariska shows that a buddy is more than just companionship. With just a few hours a week, you can build a meaningful bond, just like Mariska, just when it is not obvious. Interested in buddy help? Call 0162 748 600 or email vrijwilligers.ohgb@surplus.nl and find out what you can do.
